Looking forward...

I went over to read the Davis Family Log and found this... God always sends me the right people at the right time. It is really hard to explain the emotions of preparing for your second child, when your first child's "normal" is not "normal". Thank you for helping me with my fears and concerns. Roberta, you are truly God sent!!!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

For Faith
OK - I never do this! Ever! I have been following a blog of a family who's little guy also has HLHS. I have never felt very comfortable writing about people or even asking for prayers unless I know I have their permission. But...This post is not about them - but inspired by them. So Faith I am sorry for dragging you into this - particularly because we have actually never met. I want to describe how I felt about having Mari. I had a great level of fear when I first got pregnant. Bronwyn's cardiologist was excited for us and very supportive, which gave me courage. The first ultrasound cleared - whew felt a bit better. Next ultrasound cleared - whew - even better. Echo showed no problems - big big sigh.So then Mari was born. Apparently healthy and no problems - with the doctor's approval.How did having Mari affect me? Well, as the birth of any child we love her and we are thrilled to have her. But there is more. Not long after Bronwyn was born I started to long for another child. I would tell Wes that I just wanted to feel normal again. I just wanted to have a baby and take her home. I was mourning the loss of not having Bronwyn home with us but rather in the hospital. Having Mari has been one of the most healing experiences of my life. She has help heal wounds I didn't even know I had. My maternal desires and instincts were somehow restored and validated. Being able to bring Mari home only one day old and caring for her with no extra medicines or procedures was so liberating. We did not have Mari because we had problems with Bronwyn. We always intended to have three. We had her because we wanted her and we love her. I guess her birth has just given me more than I ever imagined it would. To me this has been a gift from God. He has blessed us so richly with her birth. She is not an easy baby - but she is good natured and wonderfully sweet. Our family feels complete now. I think of them all as my heart kids. When Gavin was a baby I prayed that he would be like King David and be "a man after God's own heart."When Bronwyn was born her heart lead us to new places, new faith and new understanding. When Mari was born she helped heal the wounds of my heart. God has blessed us with riches beyond our wildest dreams!